Monday, June 2, 2014

The breakup.

Lets just get right down to it shall we?
(If you are not a fan of mindless ranting... this isn't the blog for you)

I am sure you are wondering what this tragic life changing breakup consisted of? Right? I mean you are thinking it was just another run of the mill "he broke my heart and cheated.. blah blah"

NO.. well YES, but it was a little more, for lack of better words, crappy than that.

Let's speed past the first 6 years of his... "I will only love you and always you." Bullcrap and then the constant back and forth of me asking him to not text other girls, not because I was insecure, but I don't necessarily like seeing selfies of skanks on my boyfriends phone.

fast-forward past 7 years of me supporting his constant career changes from wanna-be firefighter (because he never actually did it, but got a tattoo of the firefighter symbol, a hmm unfinished tattoo), then the pest control job, the assembling furniture job, the maybe i should be an electrician, or join the coast guard, or HEY here is an idea, let me be a bartender at a On the Border. Finally, the decision to be a paramedic.  Supporting this, of course, and letting him live with me while he worked nights, and went to school during the day, and still got paid- yet I paid all the bills. I am there at all graduations and ceremonies when his family wasn't.

Then the night. We just spent a weekend camping, come home, he works night shift.

4:00 am- He comes home, I was waiting up. Listen to him talk about his night. We fall asleep

6:00 am. His phone goes off. Normally it is on silent.. so I run to his work clothes and find it to silence it, because a good girlfriend wants him to get sleep.

6:02am the text reads
" I wish you were here cuddling with me"

6:03am rage sets in.
    I respond. He is cuddling with me ... his girlfriend.. in our bed. Who the @&%& is this?

I am sure I can skip most of the nasty details that followed.

Two months of sleeping with his... "friend"... and I am finding out now, while my engagement ring is being paid for that i never saw.


One fake pregnancy (NOT ME!) later to make it easier on me of course. Breaking up of all the shared bills, and splitting up the dogs. 100+ harassing emails from the "lady friend" and him promising me she is not who he wants, he could only marry me, followed him tattooing my initials on his arm, and then.... a few months later...

they are in another state getting married.

on a monday afternoon.

One week from our 8 year anniversary.

1/3 of my life.. wasted. 8 years, my adult life... done, and for what?

He did meet up with me two weeks later.  To tell me he loved me and he wasn't thinking clearly. (Umm what?!)

Needless to say. I ate a lot of cupcakes that month.

That was the 4 months that changed my life.  The 4 months that were my wake up call.  I hadn't been living.

Time to start living.

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