Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The officer... who wasn't a gentleman

Let me tell you about the first post-heartbreak experience.

It was actually in the midst of all the breakup drama. My boss suggested I get away for a few days. I think she just couldn't handle seeing my unwashed, uncombed hair, and massive bags under my eyes, coffee breath... you know typical breakup wear.

So I took her advice.. headed to Dallas for the weekend.

I decided to call up an old guy friend from my late teen years that I had met in Texas through my high school girl friend. He was always this cute, funny guy that had a lingering sexual attraction. However... I had a boyfriend and he always seemed to be taken as well.

While seeking him out on Facebook... I got his number and we texted for the week leading up to my Dallas trip. I found out he was now a police officer in Dallas... and what woman doesn't love a man in uniform.

Weekend of the trip.

I assumed it would just be us catching up. I never felt the attraction I had was mutual between us.

He worked evenings so we agree to meet at a bar after he got off that Friday. He never called. I ended up sitting in the hotel drinking lime-a-ridas (YUK) while my ex texted asking non stop if I was with this guy. ... Because he had room to talk at this point.

Saturday evening, after the officer apologized because he got stuck at work the night before, he texted at midnight asking if I wanted to meet up. Seeing as I was already a 6 pack of lime-a-ridas in (What... I mean I bought a 12 pack and I'm not one for wasting...) I asked if he wanted to just head to my hotel to catch up.

I ran to the bathroom fixed my face, shaved my legs... not sure why because I was POSITIVE he wasn't into me that way.

He finally gets there and we talk for about an hour over drinks about old times... We somehow begin making out.

Okay.... O... you got this...

I of course am being absent minded thinking this is all it is.

I turn to grab a drink, flip back over ... and


His is BUTT NAKED .. and his ..ahemm.. officer is at attention right in my face.

Now.. don't get me wrong, I am not prude, and this man was very attractive. But I was NOT expecting this lighting drop of clothes...

I nearly, in shock, spit my lime-a-rida all over the bed.. but somehow manage to contain myself.

I give the "my aunt flo" is in town excuse. and we fall asleep.

It made for a very awkward morning and a few texts after the fact.

Followed by him dropping off the face of the earth.

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